When I Became Kraken

by siobhan kilsby

when I became Kraken, it was for this reason

I had not not thought of drowning in six months

brining is the best way to keep this body still

I held you in my not-arms and you spat out your air and I kept it

in case you thought of me of drowning

because I swallowed a lighthouse

and some rocks and a boat and a low hung seagull on a fishing line

and the shadow of you in a lighthouse keeper was not surprised

because wrath is an old-world thing in the corner of a map

with too many limbs and you can see it in my face now

calligraphed

let this cruelness in me be something in the shape of my skin that people know

let it stop surprising me in the water

because maybe you’ll clap when I spit you out after a little taste

shark gagging on surfer blood

masturbating to the thought of seal

you calling me a good boy how good I am for letting the plane land

proud of the muscle in my not-jaw

and my held breath

and my brined not-fists

title taken from “song” by emily berry

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Siobhan Kilsby is writer and student based in Birmingham. She believes every problem can be solved via Dungeons & Dragons if you try hard enough. She has recently been published in Wilder Things Magazine.